My Promise as a Writer

I promise to entertain you to the best my twisted little mind can manage. I will take you from the light, and into darkness. I might even let you see the sunrise at the end of the journey, but that I can't promise. My stories will sweep the hair from you brow, leave your stomach in knots, and suck the air from your lungs. But no matter how far we descend, I will offer you a fragment of hope to cling to. I will treat you to dark fantasy, science fiction, horror, and anything that falls into the strange and disturbing. Will we re-emerge into the light? Well, that is the point of taking the journey. I hope you will join me on these adventures.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


5. Voyager is The Cheese Factory of outer space. Star Trek is no stranger to cheesiness. This dates back to The Original Series, culminating in the third season (also known as the turd season) with the episode Plato's Stepchildren, in which we find Spock dancing with Captain Kirk. Each spin-off series since has found it necessary to include a surreal episode filled with cheese. This generally takes the form of a mad carnival intended to bring Alice in Wonderland to a modern audience. The result, however, lies somewhere within the neighborhood of Tim Burton's failure. Over the top acting combined with weak riddles and slightly macabre carnival costumes does not make for good television. What it does is annoy the viewer to fits of vomiting.

I was unable to remain in my seat when I first viewed Voyager's attempt at the surreal, The Thaw. I left the episode playing for no other reason than I cannot turn off Star Trek once I have hit the play button (I'm seeking professional help in this matter.) Yet, I am unable to be entirely miffed with The Thaw as it provides me with forty-five minutes in which I can do chores rather than warm the couch cushions. Honestly, I'd rather do just about anything than watch this episode, like, oh I don't know, pick up dog poop? (My oldest asked if I'd rather pick up dog poop with my bare hands than rewatch The Thaw, to which my answer is, "YES! Absolutely!")

This episode is seconded only by another Voyager blunder, Threshold, in which Janeway and Paris "evolve" into catfish looking salamanders due to a faster than warp experiment. "Evolve" was the writers' word of choice. Most folks with a high school education would recognize this as devolution, but according to Voyager, regressing to a more primitive life form is evolution. Semantics aside, the fact that Lizard Paris is into cougars, and dug Lizard Janeway's tail so much. . . well let me simply state they had babies on a swampy planet in a steamy way. After recovering, Janeway and Paris left their immature offspring to fend for themselves on the planet. Perhaps they were ashamed of what led to the making of those babies? Regardless as to whether or not they wanted to legitimize their children by doing the proper thing (now that I think about it, perhaps abandoning the lizard babies was the proper thing), the episode leaves the thought in the viewers head that Paris is into older women. Does this mean he has mother issues?

Even Brannon Braga, the writer of Threshold, has nothing kind to say concerning the episode. He sums it up best with a concise critique: "Out of a hundred and some episodes, you're gonna have some stinkers! Unfortunately, that was a royal, steaming stinker."

I could go on, but The Thaw and Threshold do so well in portraying the cheese factory of Star Trek: Voyager. This series alone is capable of constructing a space station with enough fire power to destroy an entire planet, and with cheddar alone.


Reason 1
Reason 2 (Part 1)
Reason 2 (Part 2)
Reason 3
Reason 4 (Part 1)
Reason 4 (Part 2)
Reason 6
Reason 7
Reason 8
Reason 9
Reason 10
Reason 11

Related Links:
The Agony Booth recaps Star Trek: Voyager, Threshold
Kirk and Spock cutting a rug

Author Links:
Shadows Beyond the Flames
J. M. Tresaugue Books


  1. All right, I can't defend either and I won't try. In fact I had entirely blanked The Thaw out, and only began surfacing memories of it when I googled it - JUST LIKE SEVEN OF NINE WITH HER PARENTS!

    But there is a little bit of The Thaw in every "crowds milling peacefully" scene on the promenade in Deep Space Nine. Star Trek love their anaesthetised, institutionalised, bland, cringeworthy carnivalesque, don't they?

    1. You're right about the DS9 crowds. I tend to ignore the background extras, and focus on the main action. There have been moments when I have ignored portions of the screen in all the Star Trek series. In fact, that is how I watch the third season of TOS.

      Oh I need coffee. Not even sure if I've made sense. Glad to have you back, Penni. Always a pleasure to read your comments!

  2. Most off what you say is true, but you are way too verbose.