My Promise as a Writer

I promise to entertain you to the best my twisted little mind can manage. I will take you from the light, and into darkness. I might even let you see the sunrise at the end of the journey, but that I can't promise. My stories will sweep the hair from you brow, leave your stomach in knots, and suck the air from your lungs. But no matter how far we descend, I will offer you a fragment of hope to cling to. I will treat you to dark fantasy, science fiction, horror, and anything that falls into the strange and disturbing. Will we re-emerge into the light? Well, that is the point of taking the journey. I hope you will join me on these adventures.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

11 REASONS WHY I HATE STAR TREK: VOYAGER #1



You can't spend five minutes with me without learning I love Star Trek. I love it all: phasers, tricorders, photon torpedoes, and warp powered ships. Well, not all of it. I hate Star Trek: Voyager. I hate it with a passion. I'd rather watch Captain James T. Kirk fight the Gorn on loop all day long rather than suffer through the best episode of Voyager. I was label to do just that for a number of years. I'd get the bug to begin a marathon, starting with Enterprise, having fun with The Original Series, and moving on to The Next Generation before concluding with Deep Space Nine. I'd even slog through The Animated Series, and drink lethal amounts of coffee to remain awake during Star Trek: The Original Motion Picture (which, by the way, was the only time a vessel named Voyager had any entertainment value in the Star Trek universe). The Voyager portion of the marathon would come to a whimpering halt before finishing the first disc of season one. Is this any surprise? Not at all! Voyager took a page out of the 1980's rule book for television in that the theme and opening credits were better than any and all episodes (even my five month old daughter is in agreement as she quickly looses interest when any given

episode begins). I was fine with ending the marathon early. In fact, I was happy. . . until J. J. Abrams made the fantastic Star Trek 2009. Due to old Spock's storyline taking place well after the era of Jean-Luc Picard, I am forced, almost to the point of a phaser shoved against my head, to slog through Voyager if I ever hope to watch J. J. Abrams' addition to the franchise as part of a marathon. That is where I am now, watching Voyager while dreaming of the day when I can pop the latest Star Trek movie into the DVD player. Here are the reasons why I hate Voyager:

1. Star Trek Voyager never needed to happen. I sometimes wonder if Rick Bermen and Brannon Braga forgot about all their work on Star Trek: The Next Generation. We encounter The Traveler in three episodes, and in his last appearance, Final Mission, he

takes on Wesley Crusher as an apprentice. The Traveler is a being with near godlike powers who can make ships travel thousands of light years in the blink of an eye. He also seems to have knowledge of events occurring outside of his influence (and without the need of a ship's computer to keep him updated).

By means of The Traveler and Wesley Crusher, Voyager would (and should) have been nothing more than a one or two part episode in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. What I see happening on the television screen in my head is The Traveler and Wesley boarding The U.S.S. Defiant with Benjamin Sisko in the captain's chair. I see them finding Voyager in the Delta Quadrant after The Traveler uses his faster than warp trick. Either he or Wesley transports to Janeway's vessel, and I see the godlike duo returning both vessels to the Alpha Quadrant. Problem solved! A seventy-five year journey? I say Wesley Crusher can accomplish it in a day. So think of that the next time you feel like saying, "Shut up, Wesley!"

Reason 2 (Part 1)
Reason 2 (Part 2)
Reason 3
Reason 4 (Part 1)
Reason 4 (Part 2)
Reason 5
Reason 6
Reason 7
Reason 8
Reason 9
Reason 10
Reason 11

Related Links:


Kirk fights the Gorn
Voyager Theme
The Traveler

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5 comments:

  1. No no no. Wesley and the travler would totes see the value in Voyager's experiences in the Delta quadrant. They make headway with the Borg, Q, encounter and learn about new alien species...plus it's a natural consequence of the human internal conflict between the Federation and the Marquis. They all needed to learn a lesson by having people they love die horrible deaths.

    You will never convince me, or anyone. Three words: SEVEN OF NINE.

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    1. Love your comment. Ah, Seven of Nine. . . Well, we will be getting to her soon enough. I believe that will be Reason #2 (Part 2). Thanks for reading and commenting!

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    2. Talk about an epic fail. They had an opportunity to do some great storytelling, and what did they give us? Ripped off TNG plots, techno-babble, gimmicks and schtick. I actually feel sorry for that cast. They have to live out the rest of their careers knowing that they got stuck with total crap.

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    3. p.s. forgot to say--I literally just finished my own marathon about 3 hours ago, so I'm pretty disgusted.

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    4. Gina, I couldn't agree with you more. Remember "The Year of Hell"? It's mentioned in season 3, and they give it a two part episode in season four. Um... That would have made an interesting season if the story was fleshed out for 26 episodes. Oh yeah, and nothing Kes talked about came to happen, like Janeway didn't die. Now do yourself a favor, and wash your mouth out with Star Trek 2009. Trust me when I say you will make you feel better,

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