11 REASONS WHY CAPTAIN JANEWAY IS THE BEST STAR TREK CAPTAIN

Captain Kathryn Janeway assumed command of her first starship,Voyager, in time to be yanked across the galaxy by a lonely and dying space alien satellite thing. Her ship and crew, along with a renegade Maquis raider, found themselves in the Delta Quadrant. Even with engines engaged at maximum warp, Federation space was 75 years away. The challenges Janeway faced on the return trip makes her the best captain in the Star Trek franchise. Here are 11 reasons why:

Janeway took command of her first starship,

1. Janeway offered amnesty to her enemies. Near the conclusion of the pilot episode, the Maquis raider was sacrificed to save all Alpha Quadrant refugees. (Sure, the ship was already heavily damaged, but this is Star Trek! Ships are only irreparably damaged if they explode or, sometimes, when they crash land in an exciting movie sequence. Occassionaly even this level of destruction is an inadequate means of doing away with a ship, and this is how it should be.) The Maquis, depending on your point of view, were freedom/terrorist fighters of whom the Federation had sworn to disband. Without a ship, the Maquis were at Captain Janeway's mercy. She had plenty of options. For example, James T. Kirk in The Original Series stranded Khan on Ceti Alpah 5. We know how well that worked out for him! Or Janeway could have rationalized with the Maquis (like Picard demonstrated with the Borg drone, Hugh), and send them on their way in Voyager's shuttlepods. Perhaps Janeway could have taken a Captain Sisko approach of offering an ultimatum with the possibility armed conflict. Instead, Janeway seized upon her own decision rather than selecting from the templates established before her time, and offered amnesty to the Maquis along with a bunk, three replicated meals a day, and clothes so long as they worked and behaved while on board her ship. Janeway's choice was not so much based on using the Prime Directive as her moral compass. Instead, she decided based on the conviction that the proper humanitarian action was to return the Maquis, despite their disagreements, to their proper place in the universe.

2. Janeway held together a crew comprised of two opposing ideological viewpoints. Captain Janeway was faced with a challenge she shared with the previous Star Trek captains, an alliance with the enemy (the Maquis in this instance). What differentiates Janeway in this matter is the alliance was long term rather than spanning a week or two. Sure, most everyone accepted the new rules with little resistance, and running firefights through the passageways is bound to grow tiresome by the second season. It's best to avoid that pesky problem. Janeway keeping peace between her Federation crew and Maquis refugees is similar in nature, though not quite, to leading a project of 150 people pulled from humanists and fundamental Christians ideologies. Egad! Not a job I'd want! For this, Janeway is the best of the Star Trek captains.

3. Janeway treated The Doctor as a sentient being with all the rights and privileges associated with such a status. Whether in life or fiction, the captain sets the tone for the ship. Had Janeway chosen to view The Doctor as nothing more than a computer program, then her attitude would have permeated the ship. Perhaps she was familiar with Data's trial in the TNG episode, The Measure of a Man. Perhaps her enlightenment came from another source or inner reflection. The point is, Janeway came to the conclusion The Doctor was as much a member of the crew as Torres, Chakotay, Kim, and Paris. Granted, Janeway did turn off The Doctor at times, but understandably so. (I have frequently imagined the benefits of certain colleagues coming equipped with an on/off switch.) She extended this viewpoint to Kes and Neelix (unfortunately), and later to Seven of Nine. Her ability to see beyond technology (The Doctor), annoying personalities (Kes and Neelix), and across enemy lines (Seven of Nine) to make people feel welcome on her crew makes Janeway the best captain.

4. Janeway maintained her dignity after making lizard babies with Tom Paris. Kirk was forced to give a little person a pony ride in the TOS episode, Plato's Stepchildren, but that is a small insult when compared to the devolution of Captain Janeway. Imagine waking up one morning to look in the mirror and see a giant salamander starring back at you. To make matters worse, there are only two of your species, and the other happens to be a dullard. The indignity does not stop there. Oh no! There was some swinging in the tree, some kissing, and then came a horde of babies. The Doctor eventually repaired the altered DNA, but not before the entire crew learned their esteemed captain's plight and maternal condition. Janeway managed to hold her head high, even go so far as to make a joke of the situation. The ability to hold the crew together after such a humiliating event makes Janeway the best captain.

5. Janeway lost far fewer crew members than Kirk. In Captain Kirk's Five Year Mission, he lost approximately 56 officers and crew. The number reflects only the first three years of the mission, and not his struggles from V'ger to General Chang. On a ship of 450, we are looking at 8% of the crew dead and gone at a rate of 18.7 people per year (meaning one person died very slowly). Death every where you look! Janeway lost 26 officers and crew in seven years. The number of dead is based on a Wikia article, StarfleetCasualties. The deaths under Janeway's command occurred over a period double the duration of Kirk's weekly phaser BBQ. 26 deaths over seven years. . . not bad, especially when considering one of those deaths was Tuvix.

Voyager was home and office to 150 people and things, and only 17% died. A percentage close to Kirk's death count, but not quiet when compared properly. Janeway lost only 46% of Kirk's total. For the low death count, and for killing off Tuvix, Janeway is the best captain.

6. Janeway was the first captain since Kirk to rise to the rank of admiral. Granted, Picard was offered the rank, but refused the grand opportunity to pilot a desk. Sisko debuted behind the crowed as a lowly commander, and Archer was eventually promoted (technically making him the first of the three admirals). Janeway's Lost in Space styled journey was pretty much a career success. Sure, people died, but she did pretty well when considering what we learned in Reason 5. Janeway did return to the Alpha Quadrant with most of her crew intact. Plus, she provided Star Fleet with a Borg to interrogate, and a new alien species to dissect (goodbye, Neelix!) She brought home new technologies to be studied. The Federation data banks were filled with information Voyager gathered from the Delta Quadrant. That alone is reason enough to promote Janeway to admiral when remembering the primary mission of Starfleet and the Federation is of a scientific in nature. The treasures Janeway spread out before her superior officers, like Columbus before Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand, is reason enough to name her the best captain.

7. Janeway was not driven into a homicidal rage when dealing with Neelix. I really don't know how she refrained from murdering Neelix beyond relying on insane amounts of self-control. Star Trek has its fair share of annoying characters, but Neelix tops the list. He is the Jar-Jar Binks of the Star Trek universe. Day after day, for seven years Janeway was subjected to his mindless prattle and a dizzying sight of an extraterrestrial that seemed confused as to his identity. The mullet suggests white-trash, but the hair color and leopard skin tones imply punk. Janeway did not even carry a phaser when in the presence of this creepy thing. Surly a testament of her courage!

8. Janeway brought resolution to the Q Civil War. What more can be said? A mere human walked onto a battlefield as gods struggled to murder each other. She negotiated peace in true Federation style, debate as apposed to the strength of phasers and proton torpedoes. Sure, the other captains confronted their share of insane godlike entities, but those confrontations were generally among individuals demigods. Janeway did it bigger and better!

9. Q selected Captain Janeway as his son's godmother. Q was fond of Picard, found little joy in Sisko, but he truly admired Janeway. She played his games as well as her predecessors, and earned his respect based on intellect and strength of character. Due to her help in resolving the Q Civil War, Q honored her in no way another captain has been honored. She was asked to be the godmother of a godlike entity.

10. Captain Janeway faced the largest Borg threat with the least resources. When the Borg first appeared in the TNG episode, Q Who, we knew the Federation was in for a hard time. Not until Voyager cruised through Borg space did we truly realize how under matched the Federation was in this assimilation match. Picard held his own, but he never faced more than one Borg Cube at a time. How about dozens? How about hundreds? Janeway repeatedly kicked Borg butt like a champion, making her the best captain.

11. Janeway's 75 year mission was completed in 7 years. Captain Kirk was given a five year mission, and completed the assignment in three (or four if you count The Animated Series). Well, technically, he was canceled before completing the mission. Regardless, Janeway was forced into a 75 year mission, a mission she took on without complaint though half of her Star Trek life of 150 years or so would be sacrificed in the fulfillment. Colonizing a planet or assimilating the crew into an alien culture (other than the Borg) were acceptable alternatives (when willing to ignore the Prime Directive). Instead, she engaged warp engines, did some exploring, fought the Kazon, fought the Borg, and . . . She basically fought a quadrant full of assholes. She did all of this in roughly 9% of the projected time. So either someone's math was horrendously off, or Janeway makes her own fate. I'm going with the latter since Old Janeway in the series finale, End Game, was willing to thumb her nose at Starfleet to hlp bring Voyager home.

Note: Some time has passed since posting a blog, and even more time slipped away since posting on Star Trek. After completing 11Reasons Why I Hate Star Trek: Voyager, I had promised a series on the Star Trek captains in which I was to explain why each one was the best. This is the second in the series. 11 Reasons Why CaptainSisko is the Best Star Trek Captain was the first for the simple reason his was the easiest to write. I had hoped to move on with original Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Archer, and then possibly Kirk V2.0. Yeah, right! Something, something, plans, something, something, mice. One of these days I will learn planning for the next writing project is an iffy ordeal. This period in my life is the busiest I've ever encountered. I'm slowly picking away at stories and blogs, I've returned to school, and I'm a stay-at-home-dad for two teens and a toddler of 20 months. Plus, I have assumed all the household duties, and I've go my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to blame for it. I'm swamped.

All of the remaining captains' blogs are in various stages of construction. Some have the reasons listed while others include more text. Janeway's happened to be the one I completed before the others, so she is awarded with immediate posting. Kirk and Picard can wait a bit longer.

I had also promised a fair treatment of Janeway, though in the same tongue in cheek vane of previous posts, despite the previous Voyager related blog posts. The list is by no means comprehensive, and reflects only one person's opinion. Please post your reasons why Captain Janeway is the best captain in the comments below.

And don't forget to check out The Power of Riker's Beard!

PERIPHERAL FANDOM OF THE BBC'S SHERLOCK

My appreciation for the BBC's Sherlock stands in the periphery rather than amidst content and execution. I have seen one, perhaps as much as two, episodes. I enjoyed what I saw, hope to see more in the future, but there are only twenty-four fleeting hours in a commitment crowded day. My fandom of Sherlock has nothing to do with the various aspects of quality: writing, acting, or production. Appreciation originated in the affect of the show, much of which Benedict Cumberbatch is responsible for creating.

The saga begins with Star Trek Into Darkness. My oldest daughter was captivated by Khan Noonian Singh's charisma. Upon leaving the theater, she engaged in a seek and consume mission of every show and movie Cumberbatch has appeared in. She loves Sherlock above all others. Her passion for the show inspired a five mile round trip walk to search out Sir Arthur Conan Doyle titles. She lugged home a thick volume of collected Sherlock Holmes works. I'm talking a huge book! This thing can be used as a stepping stool, that's how huge we are talking. And she was excited to read despite knowing severe muscle fatigue from holding that monstrosity was in her future. These are the moments I live for!

I know my daughter engages in a poop load of reading. She tackles fan fiction, blogs, and downloads graphic novels. She is constantly reading, and I understand the nature of reading material has made a pivotal shift in the years since my summer vacations passed in the pages of westerns and science fiction novels. What excites me is this: she went out of her way to find a book that interested her. I am excited because she once more discovered reading is exciting, and not merely a way to pass the time. (The wonderful beauty of this discovery is a person makes it each time a well written book is opened.)

Peter Jackson had the same impact on her. One of my copies of the Hobbit (the novel) was stolen after she watched the first installment of the needlessly long series. She loved the movie despite the Great Goblin's scrotum beard (as the people at Hishe aptly label the larger than life boil).

We saw a similar phenomenon on a massive scale with J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, and later with Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games. (With the above stories, impressive book sales drove ticket sales, which in turn pushed book sales higher. Synergy at its best!) I love witnessing these moments. These periods are when the imagination has been engaged. Dreaming comes forth, and creativity abounds whether in fan art and fiction or the fan finding the inspiration to embark on a dream of her own. Perhaps that person was dreaming for years of writing the story she had been toying with in the privacy of her thoughts. And perhaps that dream will bring forth the next, great franchise. Or nothing will happen beyond entertainment, and that is fine too so long as the reader enjoyed the adventure.

(Unfortunately, the sweeping popularity of a novel is an indiscriminate beast as Twilight spawned a similar run on book outlets. Though tempting, Stephenie Meyer's . . . paper products are no reason to give up on humanity.)

I am a fan of some movies for no other reason than their byproduct of engendering curiosity in the printed form of the story. Sherlock nicely fits into this inspiring category.

Here is a link for the curious on giant sized book sales.

Pike Place Zombes is FREE!

Pike Place Zombies is now available on Smashwords! (Conveniently in time for Halloween. . .)

George Mapleton finds himself the sole survivor of the zombie apocalypse in downtown Seattle. Rather than flee, he dedicates his time studying the undead for the purposes of science until he is forced to make a decision for the future of humanity.

Download Pike Place Zombies here!

11 REASONS WHY SISKO IS THE BEST STAR TREK CAPTAIN

1. He wore the most hats: officer, full time ambassador to the Bjorans, religious icon, and father. As much as I love Captain James T. Kirk, I regretfully admit there is not much depth to him. He was all about being the captain while exploring love with exotic aliens. He was the playboy of space, and that about sums up the character.

Jean-Luc Picard was a great captain. Like Kirk, he was larger than life, but unlike his predecessor, he focused more on bettering himself through scholarly exploits. He was an explorer of not only the cosmos, but of himself. He also erected a stronger barrier between himself and those who served under him than we saw with Kirk (though this barrier was a bit eroded for dramatic purposes in the four Next Generation films.)

Captain Kathryn Janeway. . . She could have been the best. She should have been the best. My thoughts about Janeway can be read in 11 Reasons Why I Hate Star Trek: Voyager.

Captain Jonathan Archer headed out into space after all the others, though he was the first (damn prequels!) He is clumsy in his trail blazing as can be expected for someone performing a duty that has never been done before (with the exception of the Vulcans and the Andorians. . . and the Klingons. . . and Romulans too.) Ultimately, Archer fits into the mold of the three previously mentioned captains in that he is a captain/explorer.

Buried in the middle of this dog pile of captains is Benjamin Sisko: commanding officer of a space station; explorer of the Gama Quadrant; ambassador to the Bjorans; the Emissary of the Prophets to the Bjorans; and the father of Jake Sisko. Sure, many of the other captains shared in similar duties, but Sisko was the only one of the group to perform all the duties full time, rather than when the need arose. Kirk was the only other captain to have a child, and even then he was not involved in raising the kid (yeah, I know. He didn't know about David until Khan tried to kick his butt for a second time.) Sisko had more jobs to perform at a single time than any other Star Trek captain.

2. He can sing better than Kirk, Spock, and Data . . . combined! There seems to be an alarming trend among Star Trek actors with so many of them attempting to expand their entertainment value through breaking into the music industry. These attempts seem to lie somewhere between professionally cut albums to independent. How these tracks come about are not the problem since many garage bands are more worthy of Justin Beiber's money than he is. The problem is the . . . artistic? . . . choices.

William Shatner destroyed Elton John's haunting Rocket Man. Watching the performance makes you wonder if Shatner was serious, or simply having fun. Looking deeper into his musical career (which is thankfully a shallow pool), and we come to realize it was a serious attempt. And. The. Voice! Shatner sings like he talks. "But. Bones. . . WHAT! Canitbe?"

Leonard Nimoy made me afraid of Hobbits long before I learned how read. I'm talking pooping your pants terrified. After watching his video about Bilbo Baggins, is it any wonder I did not read The Hobbit until I was thirteen? I think not!

Brent Spiner is arguably better than Kirk and Spock when it comes to singing, but not by much. I can not listen to him sing without hearing Data. Perhaps in a live production I'd feel differently, but until that happens I will be reminded of all the TNG episodes in which Data is attempting to explore humanity. Listening to a Spiner track feels like the producers of Star Trek decided to make a few extra bucks by producing a tie-in album. Data sings the classics! The ballads of the 60s and 70s sung by Data! 1980s rock with vocals by Data!

Then comes along Avery Brooks with a voice from the land of milk and honey. I could listen to Captain Benjamin Sisko sing all day long.

3. He knows when compassion is needed, and when to administer the tough love. Sisko was a hard man when events required cold action. Jadzia Dax nearly died of blood loss in the DS9 episode Change of Heart, but survived due to Worf's willingness to abandon a crucial mission in favor of saving the life of the Trill he loved. Though Sisko understood Worf's position, he was not slow in jumping down the Klingon's throat, and questioning Worf's sense of honor.

In For the Uniform, Sisko made an entire planetary atmosphere uninhabitable for most forms of humanoid life, creating hundreds of refugees for no other reason than to capture the turn cloak, Michael Eddington.

As the conflict with the Dominion intensifies, Sisko is ordered by his superiors to remove all Starfleet personnel and equipment from the space station. Soon after the withdrawal, Sisko learns his son, Jake, was left behind. When asked if he intended to turn the Defiant around, and rescue Jake, Sisko basically said his son was man enough to make his own decisions, and live with the consequences.

If that's not enough, Sisko even sent the woman he loved to prison!

But Sisko was not made of ice alone. He had a heart, and that is what drove him to form the decisions he made, and to commit to the actions he took. Numerous times he extended aid to the Dominion when the need arose. He coddled Alexander Rozhenko, Worf's son, and the all around worst Klingon. His vigil over Jadzia as she lay dying in sick bay is heart rending. The situation was what dictated if we saw the Ice Captain or the man with a generous heart. Both aspects of his personality were mesmerizing to watch.

4. He met young Captain Kirk, and got his autograph. Trials and Tribble-ations was a fifth season episode of Deep Space Nine, and is perhaps my favorite episode of the entire franchise (surprising since I normally hate time travel episodes). The melding of the DS9 crew with the TOS crew was ingenious and fun. Near the end of the episode, Sisko does what many fans have done before and after. He approached Captain Kirk for no other reason than to get his autograph. I doubt anyone in a similar situation would have done otherwise.

5. He looks good with hair, bald, with a goatee, and as a Klingon. Avery Brooks is one of those assholes who looks good no matter what. I'm sure a baseball bat to the head would fail when it comes to ruining his good looks (please do not try to prove me wrong should you happen to come face to face with Brooks).

Sisko had the appearance of a tightly groomed Starfleet officer when he first appeared on screen. As the seasons passed he began to shave his head. It was a great choice. Some people look silly with a bald pate, others look better. Sisko definitely looked better. Soon after, Sisko grew a goatee, and the image of space faring bad ass was complete. That is until the need arose for Dr. Bashir to perform a bit of cosmetic surgery in the name of espionage. Sisko came away with the ridges of a Klingon, making him look more intimidating than Worf. Imagine the other Star Trek captains as Klingons. Doesn't work too well, does it?

6. The universe was against him, and he stood tall. Though Sisko carried himself with confidence (as is to be expected of a person in command), he was truly the underdog. Here is a list of the struggles he continually faced:

Factions of the Bajoran government resented his presence.
Starfleet brass was not happy, and rather vocal, over his role as a religious icon for the Bajorans.
Section 31 continually interfered with the running of the station.
The Maquis proved to be an annoyance, forcing him to deal with their anti-Cardassian antics.
The Cardassian's proved to be an annoyance, forcing him to deal with their anti-everyone antics.
The Klingons alternated between wanting his head and agreeing to fight beside him.
The Dominion wanted to destroy him.

All of the Star Trek captains had their share of troubles, but Sisko had more to sort through at a single time than what faced Kirk, Picard, Janeway, and Archer.

7. He captained the Defiant, the coolest ship since Kirk's Enterprise NCC-1701. In 1977, we were introduced to the Millennium Falcon, the coolest spaceship to hit the big screen (you know, back when George Lucas knew how to make a good Star Wars movie). The small ship captained by Han Solo was held in high prestige among many science fiction fans (and still is), but something happened nearly thirty years later. In 1994, season three of Deep Space Nine aired, and Star Trek fans were introduced to the U. S. S. Defiant. Star Trek took the concept of a small ship with impressive fire power and high maneuverability, and out did the Falcon. I was among those who quickly forgot about Han Solo's hamburger inspired ship.

Interesting Federation ships dot the history of Star Trek. There is something pleasing within the look of the awkward ships based on the original Enterprise (Kirks, not Archer's). The list includes The Reliant, seized by Khan; The Excelsior (preferably under the command of Captain Sulu), U. S. S. Grissom, and the U. S. S. Pasture, commanded by Captain Beverly Crusher. The Defiant was the first ship to truly break from the basic design mold, and it was refreshing.

8. Sisko was not merely on the front line of the Dominion War. He WAS the front line. The Dominion ruled space in the Gama Quadrant, a galaxy well beyond Federation controlled star systems, with the wormhole in the Bajoran system providing a bridge between the two sectors. The first obstacle in the conquest of Alpha Quadrant planets and the Federation was the space station Deep Space Nine, under the command of Captain Benjamin Sisko. Starfleet offered little in the way of defense for the quadrant at the commencement of the war. They turned a space station serving as a hub of commerce into a weapons platform, and provided Sisko with one ship, the Defiant. He had limited resources, little to no support, and faced an enemy equally willing to go around or through him. The Federation seemed unwilling to admit war was inevitable. To lose the space station was to lose the war, and to lose Sisko was to lose Deep Space Nine. Without Sisko in command, protection of the Alpha Quadrant would fall to the reckless Klingon Empire and the self serving Romulans. Sisko was the only captain who was indispensable in the crisis which faced him. (Yes, the crew of the Enterprise curtailed a war between the Federation and the Klingon Empire in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but Kirk and McCoy were not instrumental to thwarting the plot. Everything that was needed was found on the Enterprise, as Spock pointed out. Spock rescued his friends not because he needed to, but because he wanted to save them.)

9. He ripped the bottom out of Section 31, the Federation's ugly side. An aspect of Deep Space Nine I cherish is the bold move to show the Federation is not perfect. In the real world there is a perceived need for nations to commit ugly actions. With Deep Space Nine, we see the same is true when we learn of Section 31, the assholes of The Federation. These are black ops types represented by Luther Sloan. They poison people, kidnap, commit murder, and engage in acts of terrorism. Section 31 justifies its actions in the name of preserving The Federation when more acceptable means of diplomacy fail. Sisko devoted himself to destroying the organization the moment he uncovered its existence. That takes some serious courage. Section 31 had the means and amnesty to do with Sisko as they pleased. This was a shadow civil war Sisko and his officers fought independent of The Federation's resources, whereas Sloan had every conceivable weapon at his disposal. This goes beyond the genocide Picard thwarted when Starfleet brass ordered him to release a virus into the Borg Collective. Unlike the Borg issue, we were not permitted to forget about Section 31's activities after they were first introduced. The shadow organization continued to shape the series, and even spilled over into Star Trek: Enterprise.

10. He joined the Wormhole Aliens, and became a god. (I wonder if he drinks with Wesley Crusher at the Human to God Pub?) During Sisko's struggles to maintain possession of Deep Space Nine, he managed to anger the Wormhole Aliens (or Bajoran Prophets if you prefer). Their penalty came at the conclusion of the Dominion War. Sisko was not to finish out his natural life. Instead, he was to join the Wormhole Aliens, and live as they do, outside of time. So basically Sisko's punishment was immortality. . . Tough break! Thinking about what he will miss is sad, but only at first. The Wormhole Aliens proved time and again they know all that occurs in the Bajoran star system. So no, Sisko will never hold his unborn child, or sleep next to his wife, or stand proud when Jake writes his fifth novel. But Sisko will see all of those events. The sadness belongs to his family and friends who will not share those moments with him.

Earlier in the series, the Wormhole Aliens proved their power was unlimited when they wiped out an entire Dominion fleet in less than a second. Sisko is now eternal and all powerful in his new home. No other Star Trek captain can make that claim. Both Kirk and Picard rejected the offers when such powers were made available to them. I wonder if Sisko would have rejected godhood too if the choice had been his.

11. He told the second favored Star Trek captain, Jean-Luc Picard, to go piss on himself. Star Trek: The Next Generation had a few more seasons remaining and was still going strong when Deep Space Nine first aired. The original episode of DS9 contains a few moments of torch passing between Jean-Luc Picard and Benjamin Sisko. In their first encounter, Sisko is not shy in telling Picard his beloved Federation sucked, but he did not stop there. He proceeded to remind Picard of being assimilated into Locutus of Borg, that he, Sisko, was on the front lines of the Battle of Wolf 359, and that Picard was responsible for the death of Sisko's wife, Jennifer. Already fans of the franchise had spent hours debating who was the better Star Trek captain: Kirk or Picard. And here comes Sisko, telling the Federation poster boy what he can do with a long stick. I cannot think of a better way than to tell an audience to prepare to dump preconceived notions.

Related Links:
11 Reasons Why I Hate Star Trek: Voyager
William Shatner sings Rocket Man
Leonard Nimoy sings Ballad of Bilbo Baggings
Brent Spiner sings Rosie
Avery Brooks sings The Best is Yet to Come

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11 REASONS WHY I HATE STAR TREK: VOYAGER #11

11. Finally, the series finale views like it was ghost directed by William Shatner. After seven years of ignoring lessons well learned while working on The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine, producer Rick Bermen and writer Brannon Braga decided the time was ripe to implement those fourteen years of experience smashed into twelve when conceptualizing Voyager's big finale. There is a slight problem with this. Seven years of lazy writing and decisions cannot be fixed overnight without firing the entire writing team, and brining in fresh talent. Watching the final episode, Endgame, brings to mind the series finales of the preceding Star Trek titles, though not in a good way. Endgame comes across as though C and D list writers decided to plagiarize previous episodes in the franchise, namely All Good Things. . ., which concluded The Next Generation's television run, and What You Leave Behind, the bittersweet send off to Deep Space Nine.

All Good Things . . . was a fantastic story spanning three time periods in Picard's life: the present, taking command of the Enterprise D, and Picard as an old man. Picard is cast as the underdog in each of these time periods. The current time setting has his crew supporting him, but only tentatively. The past Picard's crew are unsure of their new captain, and go so far as to openly doubt him. In the future sequences Picard is cast as a crazy old man worthy of pity and succeeds in accomplishing his goals by trading upon the benevolent indulgence of those who formerly called him their captain. We also have Q in the episode, once again challenging Picard to save humanity while doubting the captain's intellect along the way. This provides us with a nice full circle scenario as we were first introduced to Q in Encounter at Farpoint, the original episode of The Next Generation. A wonderful story, great characters, and the proper amount of conflict combined with the overall Star Trek feel. All Good Things . . . was perfectly executed.

With Deep Space Nine, we see the epic conclusions to The Dominion War and the centuries long struggle between the Bajoran Prophets and the Pah Wraiths in the masterfully rendered What You Leave Behind. We see our heroes triumph, and the villains fall. We see noble sacrifices, we witness evil turn upon evil, and nothing is left the same when all is said and done. The episode is filled with drama, action, and passion, all to leave you wanting more while knowing this is it. You will only make the mistake once of watching What You Leave Behind without a box of Kleenex within reach. The level of emotion as the characters say farewell to each other is as heart rending as the final episode of M*A*S*H and the final three episodes of Babylon 5. I doubt there are many television shows with such a strong conclusion.

At this point, Star Trek is proving it cannot fail to please when wrapping up a series. And then Voyager comes along.

I have a near perfect image of Rick Berman and Brannon Braga in my mind, talking to each other as the conclusion of Voyager's seventh season approaches. What to do? How to end the series to ensure Voyager's final episode will be remembered for years to come? Naturally, they discuss what made All Good Things . . . and What You Leave Behind such excellent viewing. From there it is a logical conclusion to plagiarize from themselves. Steal a bit from The Next Generation and grab some from Deep Space Nine, throw in a bit of original thinking, and Voyager's final episode, Endgame, is born.

Like with All Good Things . . ., Endgame deals in time travel. The episode starts thirty-two years after Voyager returned to Federation space, having been gone only twenty-three years rather than seventy-five. Janeway is an admiral because apparently the new Starfleet (post Captain Kirk) looks for officers with the ability to fail with upward momentum--the best way to explain why Picard was never promoted to admiral.

Janeway is plagued with guilt. We learn her decisions in the Delta Quadrant resulted in the deaths of Chakotay and Seven of Nine, who had a clumsily written romance late in season seven (it reeks of after thought.) Tuvok has succumbed to insanity, and the rest of the crew has aged under the ministrations of bad makeup, though they fail to develop as people. Older Janeway cannot live with the guilt anymore. She decides a bit of time travel is in order to set things right, proving once and for all she is not command material. These events are tragic (if you care about the characters), but not a reason to alter the past. Starfleet personnel and the Maquis adoptees knew the risks. And what about all the other members of her crew who died along the way? Why not go back in time to the point they encountered The Caretaker? Or better yet, why not go back in time to the moment before they entered The Bad Lands, and curtail the events leading to Voyager being tossed into the Delta Quadrant? I smell a plot hole. Point being, she could have saved many more lives than those three. Janeway is a bit cold hearted and selfish if you ask me.

As expected, Older Janeway meets up with Old Janeway, who is still aimlessly cruising the Delta Quadrant. They argue for no other reason than to increase the drama. Seriously, of the two, Older Janeway has the better notions. However, she wins the arguments by repeatedly stating, "I know because I was once you." I can except that argument once. After the second time, well I stopped paying attention to their spats since the resolution is predetermined.

Old and Older Janeway form their plan, and this is where Berman and Braga decided a touch of Deep Space Nine was necessary. No one who has watched What You Leave Behind can forget the bittersweet conclusion, and that is what they wanted with Voyager. How to accomplish this? By forcing Older Janeway to sacrifice her life. The problem with her death is in the timing. Older Janeway takes one for the team while the bridge of Voyager fills with cheers, smiles, and back slapping as the ship returns to Earth. There is one exception. Old Janeway! Yes, Old Janeway is mourning Older Janeway's death, and thereby the only person on the bridge who is moping around (not to mention isn't this a bit self indulgent? To mourn herself?) The music and closeups on Janeway's face tells us we are supposed to be sad, but that is made difficult if you never liked Janeway to begin with. Not to mention the joyful crew celebrating the achievement of their goal pretty much neutralizes the pity party.

On a lesser note, The Doctor finally picks a name after seven tedious years of debate. He settles on Joe. That's right! Joe! Why? Because the hologram got married to a flesh and blood woman (a sign marriage equality is honored by the Federation? We can hope.), and decided to take her grandfather's name. (I suppose in the future people have fetishes for their grandparents.) No other explanation is given. For all we know, Grandpa Joe made his living ripping the ears off of Ferengi, and selling the bloody lobes as fertility charms. Joe! What a let down!

I cheer every time I finish watching Endgame for one reason, and one reason only. It means I don't have to watch Star Trek: Voyager again for a damn long time.

Watching Voyager is painful. I'm talking more painful than watching a little person ride Captain Kirk like a horse. Plato's Stepchildren is perhaps the worst episode in The Original Series, but every one involved can blame the drug culture of the 1960s when pressed for an explanation (this also works for the Alice in Wonderland ride at Disneyland--the original park in Anaheim, California). Voyager does not have that excuse. In fact, it is guilty of regressing in the expectations of television viewers. The continuous storyline was finally taking shape in the weekly shows, gradually leaving behind the episodic format--though more than a fair share of these type of shows still exist. We had watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Babylon 5, and Deep Space Nine, all of which required a continuous story arc for their success. Even elements of Seinfeld and Friends relied upon building on previous episodes. The days when the Reset Button was pressed at the end of the episode were thankfully dwindling as television began evolving into something more sophisticated, culminating with (what a surprise!) J. J. Abrams' Lost.

Yes, Voyager aired before Lost, but that is not an argument for demanding forgiveness in not keeping up with the more sophisticated tastes and trends of the viewing audience, particularly when this new sophistication was helped along by the producers of Star Trek through the seven year run of Deep Space Nine. As was previously mentioned in this blog series, the producers returned to the format of 1980s television in that the most entertaining segment of any given episode was the opening credits. That is what you have in Voyager. Jerry Goldsmith, who wrote numerous Star Trek scores, beginning with Star Trek: The Original Motion Picture, wrote a beautiful piece of music. The shots of Voyager flying through space, navigating around asteroids and planetary bodies is breathtaking. But that is all Voyager can hope to be. A lovely score, and gorgeous special effects. In all else it fails miserably.

Reason 1
Reason 2 (Part 1)
Reason 2 (Part 2)
Reason 3
Reason 4 (Part 1)
Reason 4 (Part 2)
Reason 5
Reason 6
Reason 7
Reason 8
Reason 9
Reason 10


Related Links:

Kirk Ridden Like a Horse
Voyager Theme


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11 REASONS WHY I HATE STAR TREK: VOYAGER #10

10. Voyager stole the final three seasons of Enterprise. I know I am in the minority in that I have a great time watching Star Trek: Enterprise. Seeing Starfleet in its infancy was fun and fresh. There was no Federation, but we knew that was going to change as Captain Archer worked to bring stability to the relations of the space faring races. I thought it was a bold and wise move to cast the Vulcans as a flawed and arrogant race still in the process of evolving into the culture we came to know through Spock. The Xindi War in season three was mesmerizing, leaving me to believe the pending Temporal War would supersede all other Star Trek conflicts. The Temporal War was never to be. I was crushed when Enterprise was canceled after four seasons, leaving us to leave us wonder how Archer formed the Federation.

I also loved Archer's Enterprise. The ship was the perfect meld between Zefram Cochrane's first warp vessel, Phoenix, and James T. Kirk's Enterprise NCC-1701. The design department did their job well, leading me to believe they toured Navy museum ships. When comparing the ship from The Original Series to the one under Archer's command it is like comparing a factory fresh Humvee to a Model T. When throwing Picard's Enterprise D into the mix, Archers Enterprise NX-01 looks like a horse drawn buggy. This is how things are suppose to be when writing a prequel series (this is intended for you, George Lucas.) The production team went out of their way to ensure the technology fit with the era, but such hard work failed to be appreciated.

Voyager, however, got a full seven season run (apparently the magic number christened by The Next Generation.) The success of Voyager mystifies me to no end. Sure, Star Trek: Enterprise had its fair share of garbage episodes, but that comprises roughly fifteen episodes of the ninety-eight episode run. Voyager, however aired one hundred seventy-two episodes ranging from laughable to horrendous. Before forming a counter argument, please let me remind you of Paris knocking up Janeway with lizard babies.

Here is a Wiki article detailing what we missed out seeing due to Enterprise's untimely cancellation:

At the time of its cancellation, planning for a proposed fifth season of Enterprise was underway. Most details of this never-made season come from comments made by producer Manny Coto who in 2009 stated that two arcs of this season may have been to show the 'origins of the Federation' and 'whispers of the Romulan war', and consequently, the Romulans would have been the major villains of the season.

Coto also stated that had the series been given a fifth season, the recurring Andorian character of Shran may have joined the Enterprise in an advisory role.

Other possible plans for the season included: an episode showing the construction of the first starbase; a Borg Queen origins story with Alice Krige as a Starfleet medical technician who makes contact with the Borg from Season 2's "Regenration" and becomes the Borg Queen, and a Mirror Universe arc spanning four or five episodes.

There were also hopes for an episode in which T'Pol would finally meet her father and discover that he was in fact a Romulan agent who had posed as a Vulcan officer prior to faking his own death. The revelation that T'Pol was half-Romulan would have shed light on her affinity for humanity and as well as her interest in experimenting with emotions."

I hope that excites you more than anything found in Voyager. Personally, I will never forgive Voyager for stealing the final three seasons of Enterprise. (Yes, I agree the theme song for Voyager is better than the puke inducing disaster we are treated to with Enterprise.)

Reason 1
Reason 2 (Part 1)
Reason 2 (Part 2)
Reason 3
Reason 4 (Part 1)
Reason 4 (Part 2)
Reason 5
Reason 6
Reason 7
Reason 8
Reason 9
Reason 11

Related Links:

A Look at What Could Have Been
Voyager Theme
Enterprise Theme

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11 REASONS WHY I HATE STAR TREK: VOYAGER #9

9. The DVDs were formated by computer science flunkies.

Admittedly, the box sets of Voyager have nothing to do with the story construction of the series, but I feel compelled to include this product fiasco in the list since the inattention to quality follows Janeway and crew to home video.

I began my first all inclusive Star Trek marathon after Star Trek: Nemesis was released on DVD. I knew I'd eventually come to the end of Deep Space 9, and be forced to watch Voyager if this was to be a true marathon. I immediately hopped online in search of the cheapest box set of all seven seasons. I settled upon the Japanese version for a Chinese-American audience I know, bizarre, but it does exist. I once held it in my hands. (The collection is no longer in my hands. I can find nothing online that suggests what I referred to is indeed the Japanese version for a Chinese-American audience. What I did find is the collection is labeled as the Chinese region free box set. For some reason the box, when it was in my possession gave me a different impression, so that is the one I chose to run with.) I soon regretted the decision when learning some episodes froze anywhere between one to forty minutes into the show. Some episodes were completely unwatchable. In fact, entire discs refused to load. Unfortunately, I did not learn this until well after the option to return the box set to the retailer had expired. I was stuck with a seven season box set in which four episodes in season one refused to play, and anywhere from eight to ten episodes were unwatchable in the following seasons. That comes to roughly fifty-two to sixty-four episodes lost out of 172. That is no small number! Foolishly, I blamed this on an old DVD player. The issue remained when I was forced to replace the player after it crapped out. At that point, I blamed the version I had purchased, only to learned better a few years later.

In 2008, the announcement so many of us had been waiting for finally came. A new Star Trek movie was in the works to be released in 2009. That was when I decided it was time to replace my Voyager DVDs with the standard rainbow box sets. I sent the Japanese version for a Chinese-American audience to my brother with a warning of what to expect. This year, 2012, I finally got around to taking the cellophane off of the box sets as I forced myself to include Voyager in the latest marathon. I quickly realized the newer purchase was plagued with the same problem as the first box set. I initially suspected different episodes were formated wrong, causing me to regret sending the first attempt to own Voyager to my brother. If only I had kept the Japanese/Chinese-American version I could have mixed and matched with the purpose of creating my own glitch free collection. I was in error there as well. The affected episodes remain the same. There are simply fifty-two to sixty-four episodes I will never see, and I am mostly fine with that knowledge. Voyager was a terrible show, so missing out on nearly a third or more of the episodes simply speeds up the viewing. Though annoyed I did not get all of what I paid for (twice), this is truly a gift from Paramount. I definitely will not be buying Voyager on Blu-ray when Jayneway and crew make that transformation.

The packaging of the box sets is horrendous as well. The Japanese version for a Chinese-American audience crammed all seven seasons into one giant rectangle, and the discs were housed in plastic sleeves. You know, the type of sleeves that scratch the hell out of your DVDs and CDs. (You: Stream it! Your music and movies/television show, just STREAM IT! Me: Stop screaming! I'll get to that point soon.) So I wasted a pile of money on buying CD cases. I even went so far as to color co-ordinate the cases with the traditional Voyager box sets. My homemade box set was an eyesore in the Star Trek collection, but more important than aesthetics was being in possession of a complete Trek library after years of searching and finding amazing deals on new and used DVDs. Contentment was achieved until learning not all the episodes loaded. (I like the caption at the bottom of the set: The Complete All Season On DVD.)

Years later, when I replaced the original Voyager purchase, I was dismayed at the crappy plastic sleeves holding each box set together. Pull the DVDs out too hard, and you risk ripping the plastic. The cases are no better in that they are made of brittle plastic, open faced, and held together by Scotch tape. Unlike all the other box sets from TOS to DS9 and skipping over to Enterprise, you cannot flip the leaves of the set to a fully open position. The tape won't take the strain, and then you are standing in the living room with a mess of open faced cases lying around your feet. With luck, none of the DVDs popped free, rolled in the direction of something sharp (or a hungry dog) and gathered a scratch or two. So you stuff the now loose leafs back into the cheap plastic sleeve only to find Voyager now rests upside down on your shelves to keep the DVDs from falling out the next time they are dusted off for a trip to the DVD player. Even some of the labels on the sleeve were applied upside down. So much for quality control.

I suspect streaming through Netflix will nullify this argument, but I will never know through firsthand experience. I was among those who jumped ship when Netflix made the entertainment blunder of the century. I also refuse to pay for streaming a show currently collecting dust on my shelves. I would find it endlessly amusing if the same improperly formated episodes fail to stream. Yet, I'm interested to learn if Netflix fixed what Paramount home video flubbed twice. (Vaguely related question: Has Netflix resolved the bandwidth and buffering issues, or is that still an on going problem? Can't say I miss spending three hours to watch a ninety minute movie.)

I've freely admitted throughout this series on the points where I lacked information that may or may not have been explained in Voyager. This ninth reason serves to explain the source of these gaps in my knowledge.

Reason 1
Reason 2 (Part 1)
Reason 2 (Part 2)
Reason 3
Reason 4 (Part 1)
Reason 4 (Part 2)
Reason 5
Reason 6
Reason 7
Reason 8
Reason 10
Reason 11

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